Hmmm

I think I might need some topical anaesthetic. I ued the 9mm sound today and yesterday, and while I managed to hold it in me for around 20 seconds yesterday, I haven't managed to get it properly inside me at all today. Mostly, I think this is because I'm scared of the pain of the stretch, but it's also partly because the glans might be slightly bruised from yesterday. It's got me a little down, because I don't want to not enjoy the process.

If I could numb my glans enough to insert the 9mm on a regular basis until it goes in without a struggle, that would be great. Certainly the 9mm isn't damaging me in any way (aside from some slight bruising, maybe) and it will stretch given time. I'm just not looking forward to doing it again tomorrow, and that really sucks - not that I'm giving up!